First of all,
it should be kept in mind that no legislation
in the world can force a man or a woman to remain
bound in wedlock, if he/she is bent upon breaking
it. Islam has prescribed a law for divorce so
that, on the one hand, both the husband and the
wife observe a moral code while they are in the
process of severing this sacred relationship,
and on the other, to provide them both a chance
for reconciliation, if they find such reconciliation
possible.
The provision of separation or divorce after
marriage is only a realistic recognition of the
relative volatility of human emotions. Just as
a human possesses the emotion of love, which
is the very foundation of the relationship of
marriage, his love is sometimes prone to be influenced
by circumstances to such an extent that he may
find it difficult to continue living with the
same person. In such circumstances, it would
be only realistic to allow for a separation or
divorce so that both the parties to the marriage
may try to get a fresh start, rather than ruin
each others' lives by being forced to live together.
It is true that divorce can result in heartaches
and however strong the reasons for the party
seeking a divorce, the other can feel chastised,
betrayed and deserted - whether it be the man
or the woman, yet it is equally true that after
becoming devoid of love, mutual trust and respect,
marriage loses the very foundation on which it
was raised. At such instances, it may only be
fair, in most situations, to sever the bond in
a civilized manner rather than make it a life
long torture for both the parties.
As for second marriage, we must first of all
recognize that there is nothing morally wrong
with taking a second wife - as there is, for
instance, with infidelity or extra-marital sexual
relations - provided the man can fulfill the
moral obligations entailed in the additional
marriage, while continuing to meet those entailed
in the first marriage as well. It is for this
reason that major religions have generally not
prohibited keeping more wives than one.
As for the point that if the wife disagrees
to the second marriage, then the man should not
marry again, this would inevitably be the case
where the bond of the first marriage is strong
enough to face the challenge entailed in the
situation. However, where the existing marriage
is itself not strong enough to meet the challenge
of the situation, a wife's refusal to grant permission
will only lead to divorce and separation. The
same, obviously, will also be true where the
wife wants to marry someone else. In such a case,
she would divorce her husband - for apparently
no fault of his - and marry the other person.
The only difference, however, is that in the
case of a man's taking a second wife, if both
the wives are willing, then both the marriages
can be simultaneously maintained.
Seen in this perspective, it should be clear
that the lack of prohibition of a second marriage,
while maintaining the first, is only an effort
to save the marriage, provided that the wife
is willing to live in the new situation, which,
obviously, she has a right not to.
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