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" And we have enjoined man
in respect of his parents - his mother bears him with
fainting upon fainting and his weaning takes two years
saying: "Be grateful to Me and to both your parents:
to Me is the eventual coming. And if they contend with
you that you should associate with Me what you have
no knowledge of, do not obey them, and keep company
with them in this world kindly". (The Quran: 31,
14)
"
And your Lord has commanded that you shall not serve
any but Him and goodness to your parents". (The
Quran: 17, 24)
"Heavens lies beneath the feet of mothers".
(Prophet of Islam)
"
To look affectionately and kindly at one's father and
mother is devotion". (Prophet of Islam)
"God's satisfaction lies in the consent of parents,
and His wrath in their wrath". (Prophet of Islam)
"If you wish God to grant you a long life, make
your parents happy". (Imam Sadiq) Mother?
'Mother,.... what a fine and sacred word. -a word
that brings the perfume of kindness and affection to
the mind, and makes one feel its warmth and purity.
The western world has only recently discovered the
lofty worth of the mother, whereas the Muslims have,
for many centuries believed in her exalted position
by virtue of the divine teachings of Islam.
Islam believe in an extraordinary
worth of a mother, and has drawn the people's attention
to his matter
in various remarks. It considers the attainment of
the last phase of perfection, namely paradise, dependent
on the mother's satisfaction, and says: "Heaven
lies beneath the feet of mothers".
The above utterance which is a quotation from the
Seal of the prophets, is a badge of honour granted
to mothers, and if we place all the words, written
or spoken, about the position of a mother on one scale
and the above sentence on the other scale, the utterance
of the Holy Prophet will definitely tip the balance
in its favour.
In glorifying the position of a mother, Islam has not
confined itself to advice, injunctions and a series
of verbal counsels, but as a legislator, it has also
regarded as something obligatory to follow in some
cases.
For example when a case, which is recommended by God,
is prohibited by a mother, children are advised to
follow their mother's order. If an offspring wishes
to observe a recommended fast for the sake of a spiritual
reward or undertake a religiously recommended trip,
but his mother forbids it, it is incumbent upon him
to obey his mother; and if he disobeys her in this
respect, he does not only fail to get spiritual reward,
but his refusal to obey also means committing a sin.
Another case in which a mother's order is respected
even in comparison with God's command, is when an obligatory
divine order prohibited by a mother, on the condition
that the action concerned does not fall within the
imperative and obligatory injunctions such as daily
prayers, or the fast of the month of Ramzan. In such
a case, obeying a mother's order is prior to God's
command. For example, if there is a question of Jihad
(holy war), those who are able to fight the infidels,
must take part in the battle, but if a young man possesses
all the qualifications for participation in the Holy
war, except that his mother does not allow him to go
(on the conditions that his non-participation causes
no damage to the Muslims), he can abstain from participation
in the war solely because of his mother's prohibition,
and decide to stay by her side.
A man came to the noble Prophet
of Islam, saying: "O
Prophet of God! I am young and vigorous, and ready
for action and services, and wish to go to the battle-front
for the advancement of Islam, but my mother does not
let me leave her and go to war."
The noble Prophet said: "Go and stay with your
mother. I swear to the God who chose me as Prophet,
that the spiritual reward, which you receive, for serving
her even one night and making her happy with your presence,
is greater than a one year long holy war." (Kafi.
Vol.-2, P-130)
Islam considers respect for
parents and observance of their rights to be the
greatest duty of the people
after the divine injunctions. The Quran says in this
connection: "Be grateful to Me and to both your
parents." Here God Almighty, immediately after
referring to His own right, speaks about the right
of parents. (Chp.Loghman, V-14)
A man came to the Seal of the prophets and said: "O,
Prophet of God! guide me, to whom should I be good
in order to benefit completely from my good deed?"
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He said: "Be good to
your mother."
He asked: "Next to her?" The Prophet repeated: "Be
good to your mother."
He said again: "And next to her?"
The Prophet answered: "To your mother".
The man said: To what other person should I be good?"
The Prophet said: "To your father".(Beharul
Anwar, vol-74)
A man asked Imam Sadiq (PBUH):
" What is the favour
that God has ordered in the Quran to be shown to parents?" The
Imam answered: "It means that you should adopt
a fine and admirable way in your association with them
and not compel them to ask your help in time of need,
but rather try to meet their needs before they ask
you."
God says: "By no means shall you attain righteousness
until you spend benevolently out of the assets you
love". (Chp. Aal-e-Imran, V-92)
If your parents cause you uneasiness, you should not
make them uneasy, and if they beat you up, you should
not hurt them. You should pray for them and throw nothing
but a look of kindness and affection at them. Your
voice should never be raised above theirs, and you
should never walk ahead of them. (Kafi Vol-2)
The fourth Imam says: "It is your mother's right
towards you that you should remember that she carried
you in her womb for several months and nourished you
with the sap of her life. She employed all her essence
to keep and protect you. She did not care if she herself
went hungry, while you were fed to satiety; or to go
thirsty herself, while your thirst was quenched; or
to have no clothes, while you were well-covered; or
to stay in the hot sun, while you were sheltered. She
ignored her sweet sleep and tolerated the pain of sleeplessness
for your sake. She protected you against the heat of
summer and cold of winter. She bore all the pain in
order to have you, and you may have her. You should
know that you are unable to than your mother appropriately
unless God helps you and grants you the favour and
ability to repay her."(Makarem-ol-Akhlagh of Tabarsi
,Vol.-1, P.468)
Naturally, only such a mother, who performs her motherly
and competent individual with her overall efforts,
can enjoy these rights. A mother who, for the sake
of self-indulgence or for the purpose of attending
dance parties or centres of debauchery and nightly
revelry, evades her duty of educating her offspring
and puts him or her in charge of a nursery or kindergarten
is, in fact, committing an unpardonable injustice towards
her offspring, and thus she cannot except to benefit
from a mother's rights and position.
In appearance, the life of children in a kindergarten
is fine and pleasant. Their clothes are clean and pretty,
their hair is well combed, their school is managed
in accordance with hygienic rules, and the rooms are
well-equipped and built with due regard to technical
criteria. their beds have clean sheets, and their food
is prepared under a proper program. The children get
sufficient playing time and timely sleep. In short,
great deals of their physical and psychological inclinations
are satisfied.
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But there are also other emotion and desires in a
child, which the social environment of a kindergarten
cannot satisfy. The particular caresses, which create
joy and exhilaration in a child, can be provided only
in a mother's lap, not in a kindergarten. A child,
living among a hundred other infants, has a non-acquire
the personality and personal independence, which are
desired by a human being.
At home, every movement and
gesture of a child, and his play and laughter draw
the attention of the parents.
The child learns much from this attention, and gets
much pleasure from it, whereas in the school environment,
an infant, surrounded by a hundred other infants, resembles
a wave breaking and disappearing amidst a hundred other
waves. (A child from the view point of Heritage & Education,
Vol.1, P.267)
To educate a child requires constant care, and this
can be provided by parents alone, since it is they
and especially the mother who, at the commencement
of the child's life, recognise those physical and psychological
characteristics and aptitudes of the child whose training
is considered the goal of education.
The blunder committed by the present-day society is
to replace the family heart and mother's lap by kindergarten
and elementary schools. The mothers who send their
children to the nurseries in order to free themselves
for undertaking office jobs, following their whims,
engaging
in their own literary and artistic activities or spending
their time on playing bridge or going to movies, are
actually extinguishing the family heart where their
children may learn many things.
The growth rate of those children who live under the
acre of their family is greater than those who stay
in a boarding school among the children of their own
age group.
A child very soon lays the foundation of his own physical,
mental and emotional characteristics within the framework
of his environmental conditions. Consequently, he learns
little from his fellow-children, and does not show
proper growth when he is lowered to an obscure position
in the school. (Undiscovered Man, 260)
Such mothers do not only damage the happiness of their
children, but also deal a blow on the body of the Society,
and further more they fail to benefit from such children.
A child who has not learnt the lesson of affection
from his mother, and his emotions are not boosted in
her lap, cannot be expected to show affection in subsequent
years.
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