We have been sent here for test and trial and
our Creator wants to judge who returns to Him
with a record of the good and who meets Him laden
with the burden of evil and bad deeds. All of
us are sitting in an examination hall with no
exception, however, the style and pattern of
exam is different. I think, you have been given
the paper of patience and God wants to see how
much you are patient and how you fulfill God's
commandments in this particular situation. Our
duty is just to obey the commandments of God.
If in a particular condition you have done your
job then you should be satisfied, as you would
not be held responsible. The primary question,
that we have to decide, is that in a specific
situation and in particular circumstances, what
are the commandments, which we have to obey.
In your case you are not allowed to disrespect
your father or mother under any circumstances.
However, their eternal well being demands that
you should try to have a better dialogue with
them especially with your father so that they
should be saved form the wrath of God.?
Try to see the close friends of your father
and explain the situation to them, if you feel
that they can be of any help. Perhaps they would
be able to communicate with him more effectively.
Moreover, open your heart before him in a cool
and calm way and tell him in detail what your
concerns are and also try to narrate that we
all are accountable for our each and every action.?
He is your father; he would insha'Allah feel
your concern. Try to make him realize the real
intensity of your concern and the gravity of
the problem. Assure him that whatever you are
doing is for his benefit and that you are not
a 'member of the opposition'.?
Remember, it is not our duty to correct the
people and force them to adopt the path, which
we consider right. On the contrary, our duty
ends at trying our best to mend their ways. We
are bound to be overpowered with tension and
frustration when we start thinking that the rectification
and correction of people around us is our responsibility.
Try to appreciate the difference between forcing
some one to the right path and that of showing
that path with all clarity. Your duty is to show
the picture of the right path in a better and
a more effective way. The rest is up to them.?
Moreover praying to God will certainly relieve
your tension. He is the one, who can solve all
our problems, while not a single problem can
be solved without His permission. Present your
distresses and your helplessness before Him,
from the depths of your heart, imploring Him
to help you through His abounding mercy. Completely
surrender before Him. This surrender would most
certainly pull you out of your agony.?
Now, after this protracted preamble, I come
to your queries.?
Islam is certainly a religion of balance and
it assigns certain duties and rights to every
individual; however, this is commendable if we
regard our duties more than our rights and in
turn it will resolve so many problems not only
at individual level but at collective level also.?
Of course it is the duty of your father to provide
you reasonably within his sources.
It is not permissible for him to stop giving
you essential and required expenses, however,
other things remaining the same, is a prerequisite.
Ailment or some disease is not necessarily a
symbol of God's punishment; rather it is another
way of testing and examining His creatures.
Going abroad for higher studies is permissible
in Islam for women also, provided the basic Islamic
requirements and traditions must be adhered to
in their real sense.
It can be hoped from the abounding mercy of
God that irritation or losing temper which is
beyond control or human limits would be forgiven
provided a person observes the required steps
to control or overcome the situation.
The permission of a mother will suffice provided
a person decides honestly that there is no way
out of this situation and there is no alternative
for these studies.
For marriage, the consent of the individual
should be sought and the person reserves the
rights of veto.? However, the positive traditions
of the family should also be given a due weight
age in this respect.
No doubt, children have rights just as parents
have them, and the parents should avoid such
ill treatment with out justification.?
And in the end I would like to add that we will
have to justify each and every action of ours
before the Almighty and before taking any step
we should decide very honestly that whether we
would be able to justify our actions before Him
on the day when we will have to stand before
him alone and there will be no one to favour
us.?
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