Great personalities of the world owe their success mainly to the mothers who have duly performed their serious duties and played their fundamental role in building up their children.

MOTHER' WRATH?  |  MOTHERS DAY?  |   AFTER MOTHER'S DEATH?

The great genius of Islam, the late Haji Sheikh Murteza Ansari, wept her bitterly at the death of his mother, knelt by her corpse and shed tears of sorrow. One of his learned pupils said in consolation and sympathy: "It is not fitting that you with such a high scholarly position, should act so restlessly and shed tears on an old woman's death."

The great man raised his head and said: "It seems that you are still unaware of the lofty position of a mother. I owe my position to the proper education given to me by my mother and to her hard work. it was she who laid the foundation of my progress and led me to my present position as a scholar."

This is the example of a mother's influence on her offspring, and there have been many mothers whose efforts have contributed to the progress of great scholars. Edison not only failed to show any talent in childhood, but also seemed to be quite stupid. His relatives and acquaintances thought him to be suffering from mental aberration. The strange questions he asked them from time to time also confirmed their supposition. Even at school, which he did not attend for more than three months, he was nicknamed 'stupid' owing to his repeated questions to the teacher. So, one day he returned home in tears and narrated the matter to his mother. She took his hand and they returned to the school. Addressing the teacher, she said: "You don't know what you say. My son is more intelligent than you. The trouble lies in this same fact. Now I will take him back home and undertake his education myself, and will show you what talent is hidden in him!". Such was the strange prediction of that mother!. Thenceforth she did as she had promised, and undertook his education. A friend of Edison's family writes in this connection: "Some times while passing by Edison's house I noticed Mrs.Edison and her son sitting in the vestibule, while she was engaged in teaching him. This place served as a classroom, and he was the only pupil there. His gesture and movements were like his mother's, and he loved her very much. When she spoke, he listened attentively, as if she was an ocean of knowledge." As a result of his mother's efforts, Edison managed, even before the age of nine, to read the masterly works of such writers as Gibbon, Hume, Plato and Homer. This wise and intelligent mother also taught him geography, history, arithmetic and ethics. Edison attended school only for three month's and all he had learnt during childhood was through his mother.

She was a true teacher in every sense of the word, since her care was not only for his education, but also to discover his natural talents and develop them. In later years when Edison rose to the height of fame, he said: "In childhood, I realised what a fine figure a mother is. When the teacher called me 'stupid', she defended me." He also said: "I shall never lose the effects or my mother's education. If she had not encouraged me, I may not have become an inventor. In my mother's opinion, if those who went wrong after attaining adolescence, had been educated and taken care of sufficiently, they would not have become useless parasites in society. The experiences she had gathered as a teacher, taught her many secrets of human nature. I had always been careless, and if it had not been for her attention, I would, in all probability, have deviated from the proper course. But her stead fastness and goodness were the powerful factors that checked me from deviation and error." (The power and Position of Women in History, P.267)

Smiles says: "A Model and example are the most important factor in a child's moral education. If a person wishes his children to have fine qualities, he should definitely provide them with fine models. But the models that is constantly before their eyes, is the mother." (Ethics by Samuel Smiles,P.51)

Mothers can, with their personality, sympathy and efforts, lay the foundation of a happy life for their children and train them for future, whereas frivolous and selfish mothers, with their wrong acts, drag their children towards distress and misfortune.

Will Durant says in a discussion of the profound effects of parents deeds upon their children: "The best house, the best school and the best of everything else lies in a place where there is less command. It can clearly be seen how, without punishment and command, a child may be led to behave well. If this free method produces no effect in some cases, it is because we parent ourselves do not follow the orders for moderation, but we go to excess in eating and drinking. We recommend kindness, but we ourselves quarrel in their presence. We warn our children against eating sweets or seeing films full of fight, but secretly indulge in them ourselves until the child finds out our secret one day. We teach mildness by way of coarseness, and politeness through rudeness.

We expect humility from a child, but wish to show ourselves invincible. However, children learn our ways and deeds, not our words, and their worry and rebelliousness are due to the fact they imitate our past acts. Show me your children, then I can say what kind of person you are. If you expect good manners from your children, be polite yourself and if you expect cleanness be clean yourself.

Nothing else is necessary, even if in violent anger you show intensity and use rude words, you will keep alive in his mind those rude words through imitation. Good behaviour can be taught only through models and examples, and by means of constant forbearance. This is, of course, a hard task, which requires a new self-education. This is how our children educate us. (Pleasure of philosophy, Will Durant, P. 198)

Islam explicitly declares that one of the main causes of deviation in children is the deviation of parents themselves. The Prophet of Islam asserts that every child enters the world with a chaste nature, which is ready to accept monotheism and moral virtues, but it is the parents who drag their children with adverse education towards perversion and corruption and sometimes infidelity and dualism. (Safinatol-Bihar, Vol-2, P.373)

It is on account of this undeniable influence of the parents on the spirit of children that the exalted leaders of Islam have made many recommendations to parents, and have greatly valued their efforts. The Holy Prophet of Islam says: "Respect your children and teach them proper manners so that you may receive divine favour and salvation." (Makaremul Akhlagh P.255 )

Elsewhere he says: "If you train your children in good manners and proper education, it is better than offering a part of your wealth everyday in the way of God." (Makaremul Akhlagh P.255)

Another narration quoted from the Seal of the Prophet says: "When someone departs this world, his record of deeds is sealed, and he cannot have access to the world except for three things:

1. If he has performed good deeds in life and has always bought benefit to people.

2. If he has left behind some knowledge for people to benefit from.

3. If he has left behind honest children who will pray for him.
(The Way of Perfection, Ahmad Amin, P.144)

When parents perform their duties in properly educating their children, they can benefit completely from their rights as parents, and enjoy the advantage of having good off-springs. Here, Islam addresses the offsprings and makes recommendations to them about properly treating parents. (Mesbah-o-Shari`a, P.48)

Imam Sadiq (PBUH) says: "Kindness and benevolence to parents are an evidence of a person's godliness, since no religious devotion pleases God as much as respecting parents."

The Holy Prophet says: "A look of affection by an off spring at the parents is considered a religious devotion."(Kashaful Ghama, P.243)
The sixth Imam says: "If you wish god to grant you a long life, please and satisfy your parents."

The Seal of the Prophets says: "God's satisfaction lies in the satisfaction of parents and his wrath in their anger."

Imam Baqer (PBUH), the Fifth Imam says: "There are four things the possession of which will provide a person with a house in Heaven through God's favour:

1. Taking care of orphans and providing refuge for them.
2. To have compassion for the disabled and helpless.
3. To have a kind heart and good conduct towards parents, and
4. To be lenient towards inferiors and servants.

(Khessal-e-Sadough, Vol.1,P.106)

Benevolence to one's mother is the atonement of sins.
Islam considers benevolence to one's mother a useful way of expiating one's sins, and regards goodness to her as a means of salvation for the sins and winning God's consent.

A man went to the noble Prophet of Islam and said: "O, prophet of God! I have sinned much in life and committed every wicked act. Is the door of repentance open to me, and will God accept my penitence?" The Prophet said: "Are any of your parents alive?" He said: "Yes, my father is alive." the prophet said: Then go to him and be good to him (so that your sins may be forgiven). He bade farewell and went out. Then the prophet said: "I wish his mother were alive!" What he meant was that if his mother were alive to receive her son's goodness, his sins would be forgiven sooner. (Biharul Anwaar, Vol.74,P.82)

Another Islamic narration says: "A man came to the prophet of Islam and said: "O, prophet of God, I was granted a daughter by God. I brought her up till she reached the age of maturity. One day I dressed and adorned her and then took her to a well and threw her into it. The last word I heard that innocent girl utter was: "O, dear father!" Now I am penitent of what I have done. How can I expiate my sin? What should I do to compensate that sin?" The prophet said: "Is your mother alive?" He said "No". The Prophet asked: "Is your aunt alive?" He said "Yes." The Prophet said: "She is tana-mount to a mother. Go and be good to her; then your sin will be expiated." (Safinatol-Bohar,Vol-2, P.687)

MOTHER' WRATH?

In Islam a mother's anger and dissatisfaction with an offspring are regarded as the means of his misfortune and destruction.

In some Islamic narration's, it has been explicitly said that those who maltreat their parents, will never smell the perfume of Heaven, nor attain happiness.
A young companion of the prophet had fallen ill and was confined to bed. The prophet went to visit him and found him seriously ill and approaching the last moments of life. The prophet said to him: "Confess to the uniqueness of God and say there is no God but Allah." The young man stammered and could not utter the sacred phrase. the prophet asked a woman who was present: "Has this young man a mother?" She said: "Yes, I am the mother." The Prophet asked: "Are you dissatisfied with him?" She said: "Yes, but I have not been on speaking terms with him for six years." The Prophet requested her to forgive the son's errors. She said: "O Prophet of God! I will do for your sake." Then the prophet turned to the young man and said: "Now utter the phrase, "there is no God but Allah." The young man now gave a free tongue to the rightful words and uttered them.(Amali Toussi, Vol.1,P-162)

Imam Sadiq (PBUH) says: "He who wishes to pass easily through the agony of death, should act benevolently towards her kinsmen, and treat his mother kindly. Then the agony of death will become easy for him to bear, and in life he will not suffer from indigence." (Amali Sadough, P.234)

A man asked the prophet a point about goodness to one's parents. The prophet repeated his recommendation three times for kindness to parents but made a mother's right prior to a father's. (Kafi, Vol.-2, P.162) Another Recommendation
for a Mother ?

A man called Zakaria-bin-Ibrahim says: "I was a Christian who embraced Islam and made pilgrimage to the house of God. I had the honour to visit Imam Sadiq (PBUH) and tell him that I was recently converted to Islam from Christianity. The Imam asked: "What advantage did you find in Islam to embrace it? I quoted this verse of the Quran, which says: "You did not know what the Book was, nor what the faith was, but we made it a light guiding thereby whom We please." (Chp.Showra, V.52)
The Imam said: "Thus God guided you to Islam and illuminated you heart with its light." Then he prayed for me to receive more guidance.

Then I informed him that my parents and relatives remained Christian, and my mother was blind. Would it be proper for me to live with them and have relationship? The Imam asked: "Do they eat pork?" I said "No". Then the Imam said: "There is nothing wrong in your association with them." And added "Take care of your mother and be benevolent to her, and when she passes away, you yourself can arrange he burial."
When I returned from my pilgrimage to Mecca and reached Kufa, I showed much kindness to my mother in accordance with the Imam's command. I fed her myself, arranged her clothes, combed her hair and served her in many ways.
When she noticed the change in my behaviour, she said: "My son, in those days when you professed our religion, you did not behave in this way. What is the reason for so much affection since you have embraced Islam?"
I said: "A descendant of the prophet has commanded me to act in this way."
She said: "Is he your Prophet?"

I said: "No! there will come no Prophet after ours. He is a son of the Prophet?" She said: "These commands are those of all the prophets, but your religion is better than mine. Guide me to become a Muslim."
I taught her the way of Islam, and she became a Muslim, and performed the noon, afternoon, evening and night prayers, but she felt sick in the middle of the night. I stayed by her bed and nursed her.

She said: "My boy! Repeat for me the Islamic words of faith" I did so, and she confessed to all of them, and passed a way the same night.
Next morning, her funeral ceremony was performed by a group of Muslims according to Islamic rites, and I recited a prayer to her corpse and buried her with my own hands. (Kafi, Vol.2, P.16, Bihar-ul-Amwar, Vol.74)

MOTHERS DAY?

A point to mention here is that for some years, December 16 has been chosen as "Mother's Day", when certain ceremonies are held every year. Newspapers publish articles about it on that occasion, poems are composed, and gifts are given to mothers by their children.

This is, of course a fine thing, but it is not enough to hold such ceremonies and offer gifts in appreciation of a mother's efforts. Attempt should, however, be made to enlighten mothers about their grave responsibility and make them realise that the management of a family and upbringing of children are among the greatest and the most worthy occupations, compared with which no other job is so significant.
According to Napoleon, a mother rocks the cradle with one hand and the world with the other. As we have already said, the worthy toils and efforts of a mother may bring up such a child who may produce a great upheaval in the world.

Mothers should try to offer society honest and well educated children, and take special care about their faith and belief, since experience has shown that a faithless offspring is not only useless for his parents but is also sometimes harmful and dangerous.

We have often read in publications many accounts of youths who have beaten their mother or father or have even killed them.

Why so? Experience tells us that there is no reason for such offences and crimes but lack of faith and absence of spiritual basis to rely on. If parents wish to have a worldly and eternal benefit from their children, they should pay full attention to their religious affairs and beliefs in the same way that they take care of their health and education.
Children, too, should become deeply familiar with their duties towards their parents, and remember that an offspring's true happiness depends on the heart-felt consent of the parents.

If writers, orators and poets adopt such an attitude towards "Mother's Day" and acquaint mothers and their children with their basic duties, we may then say that they have rendered a service and performed their obligation.

AFTER MOTHER'S DEATH?

A mother's death is an irreparable loss, but the order of Creations according to the wisdom of God, demands that every living creature should one day leave this world.
One should remain contented and submit to the will of God and his own destiny. But there are certain duties that children must perform after their mother's death if they desire their own happiness.

In other words, the right of parents does not cease with their death, and this right must be observed by their children after the death of their parents.
The fifth Imam says: "An offspring may be benevolent to his parents during their lifetime, but he may not repay his debt to them after they die, nor pray for their salvation, and forget them altogether. In such a case, these offspring will be included by God in the category of those who misbehave towards their parents." (Kafi, Vol.2, P.130)

What can be concluded from these and other Islamic narrations is that if a father or a mother has incurred a debt, their offspring should make an effort to repay this debt and pray for their salvation.

He should offer alms in their name, feed a needy person to gladden their soul, take care of and caress an orphan, and perform similar charitable act. The rewards of such deeds will be given to the parents as well as their children and God will bless and favour them for such benevolent and charitable deeds. (Kafi, Vol.2, P.127)

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